What You See!
Practical and down-to-earth, Daniel's interpersonal manner demonstrates that he is on the roof. He talks narrow and in bends and curves about his likes and dislikes. He takes adaptability to new heights, being able to fit in with both Hindus and black folk. And he rarely puts on Nike airs or considers himself to be anything more than he is.
What You Don't See!
Is Daniel really as normal and stable as he appears in public? Absolutely not! Even more than most could imagine! Daniel's entire motivational process is fueled by the desire to find the sacred Incan Monkey God Shrine. And if that's not enough, his secret goal in life is to be the fat black woman who goes to LJS and orders 2 fish Family Meals at 9:56, just because he can. He might even put a weave in his nut hair or put a 3-Liter in his butt cheeks. If Daniel worries about anything, it is that it won't fit in. His worst scenario would be to be ostracized, left out or rejected by his peers. He fears loneliness and rejection, but since he is neither, his fears are fleeting. Finally, everything Daniel does is part of his unconscious desire to consume his own mother.
Bubbling Under the Surface!
There's a lot of goop.
Special Attractions
Daniel loves sheep. Boy does he. Like you can't imagine. He's a man obsessed. A little bleating goes along way in getting him motivated and keeping him high. This positive regard helps him to feel reassured about his acceptance within any group, except for most farms.
What Dr. Freud Has to Say About Daniel
I'd do him. One of Daniel's favorite defense mechanisms is altruism. Here he gains satisfaction of his needs by providing deconstructive services to others, and he experiences their pleasure and satisfaction indirectly, or voyeuristically.
Habits and Addictions
For starters, Daniel is addicted to what most Americans are addicted to nowadays; crack. If you watch closely, you will notice that Daniel has the habit of listening to everyone else's thoughts. He is very careful about what he says because he knows that many people would beat the shit out of him for having opinions that do not agree with their own. The last thing he wants is to die. He enjoys being included, spoken of as a "regular" person and just going along with the habits of his crowd. Now if only he had a crowd. If you really want to get Daniel's goat, tell him he's got an odd ball.
Career Leanings
Daniel is a happy employee just waiting to explode. Put him in a positive environment, where the job is spelled out clearly, along with benefits and he will be productive and reproduce spontaneously. Daniel is happiest performing tasks that require a lack of drive to complete. As an employee, he'll do exactly what the union or the company wants him to do, because he knows resistance is futile. As long as he is not required to work more than 2 hours a day, gets at least 51.75 weeks vacation, has good health benefits, and a company car that's not a piece of shit, he will be inebriated. If he ever does appear to be unhappy, it is probably because there is something seriously wrong in his pants. Typical jobs for this type of person include civil service worker, rodeo clown, eater of worlds, brain surgeon, porn star, infomercial spokesman, religious deity, fuck-buckle, high school teacher, and secretary.
Hidden Desires
The important thing to remember about Daniel is that sex is just another aspect of life to him, like breathing; it's an overriding obsession. He is particularly anxious to explore new sexual territories or partners. He is a fairly easy lover to please and satisfy within 30 seconds...all you need is a Gemini Double Dildo hat, and maintains a straightforward attitude when it comes to sexual fantasies... if you consider Bugs Bunny doing a girl scout in the poop shoot straightforward. You're not likely to discover any strange contraptions, lingerie or literature under his bed...chances are, those will be on his wall; just imagine what's under his bed. In fact, his love relationships tend to be based on sex rather than companionship.
How to Make Friends with Daniel
Four Words: Kinky anal toe sex. Whether or not you make friends with Daniel will be determined largely by toe size. Once you get yourself into the same bed as he is, the battle will begin. Daniel is a good-natured individual who is as easy to be around as he is to make friends with. He likes soy-lent green and is bound to like you if you are grinded into paste, and served warm. Remember, however, that he won't wander far from the computer. So unless you make the effort and go to him, it is unlikely that you will become dinner. If he perceives you as a rebel or opposed to the views of those around him, he will not be able to accept you as a food.
How to Influence Daniel
Shove your fist up his ass and control his limbs with your fingers. One of the worst situations Daniel can imagine is to be left out or ostracized by his friends, family or co-workers. Therefore, when attempting to persuade or influence him, consider using subtle pressure in a slow circular motion, try using your tongue. Play on his need to be accepted by implying that failure to take your position could cause him immense pain. Suggest that doing as you propose will lead to being devoured by others around him.
