Daniel E. Renfer’s Blog

Robert Anton Wilson (the co-author of The Illuminatus! Trilogy) after a prolonged illness has “left his body“.

He will be missed. All fnords shall be flown at half-mast in his honor.

For future reference, God is hereby prohibited from joining in on games of Sink.

From Yahoo’s Terms of Service. (sec 17-e)

A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF USERS MAY EXPERIENCE EPILEPTIC SEIZURES WHEN EXPOSED TO CERTAIN LIGHT PATTERNS OR BACKGROUNDS ON A COMPUTER SCREEN OR WHILE USING THE SERVICE. CERTAIN CONDITIONS MAY INDUCE PREVIOUSLY UNDETECTED EPILEPTIC SYMPTOMS EVEN IN USERS WHO HAVE NO HISTORY OF PRIOR SEIZURES OR EPILEPSY. IF YOU, OR ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY, HAVE AN EPILEPTIC CONDITION, CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN PRIOR TO USING THE SERVICE. IMMEDIATELY DISCONTINUE USE OF THE SERVICE AND CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN IF YOU EXPERIENCE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS WHILE USING THE SERVICE — DIZZINESS, ALTERED VISION, EYE OR MUSCLE TWITCHES, LOSS OF AWARENESS, DISORIENTATION, ANY INVOLUNTARY MOVEMENT, OR CONVULSIONS.

Does directing hate, and scorn, and fear towards Satan give him strength? Does speaking of his wickedness, and preaching of the fires of hell, and attributing the souls of all the day’s top musicians empower Satan in the same way that I assume praising God gives him strength. If we view everything in the world that we don’t agree with as the direct influence of Satan, we are creating a much more powerfull nemesis than we really want to deal with.

Pagan Chick Tract

Writing and Aranging by

Original Artwork by Jack T. Chick

(more…)

Apperently, Our alien invaders are disseminating plans to their first-wave fleet through innocent looking childrens books… The Cuddly Menace

Describe the color Red. Do not use any references to colors. Do not mention any items/phenomena that happen to be colored red. (or any other color for that matter.) Also, do not mention any emotions that are anyway linked to items that are colored red.

It is now 4:28. I have to be up in time to take Amanda to her appointment at UofM Hospital. There is a very good chance that the doctor will be able to tell us if we are having a boy or a girl. She is approximately 18 weeks along. They are generally able to determine the sex by the 16th week, so unless Zie is a rather shy baby, there is a good chance I won’t have to resort to gender-neutral pronouns (Zie, Zir) when referring to my child.

I had an interesting thought earlier today. When the doctor tells us what (in zier professional opinion) sex the baby is, does that count as an observation? It’s like the thing about Schrödinger’s Cat. The cat was either alive or dead. The scientist doesn’t know if the cat is alive or not because there is a 50% chance that the radioactive particle triggered the device that smashed the cyanide capsule killing the cat. Most people would say, “Yeah! So there’s a fifty-fifty shot of a dead kitty. So what?” That wouldn’t be a big deal, except that it’s fun to fuck with people’s minds and tell them that since either result could occur, that until you open the box and look to see whether or not you have to clean out the box or buy more cat food, both occur at the same time.

I see the doctor’s appointment tomorrow kinda like that. I know that there’s a little baby inside her belly. I know that by this point zie has zir’s own tiny version of what romance novelists spend all night thinking up new euphemisms for. I know that what that doctor tells me will invariably shape the rest of my life. Will I forever be immersed in a sea of Barbie® dolls, or with GI-Joe? (To quote old stereotypes.) This difference will come about anyway, but as of right now, when I look at my fiance’s ever-growing belly, I’m not sure which name I’ll be screaming from the front porch to come in and eat zir dinner.

Which brings me back to my original point. Even when the doctor tells us zir professional opinion of what zie thinks our baby’s sex is, there still remains a slight element of uncertainty. If zie’s a boy, the chances of a suprise are lower. However, if zie’s a girl, there is a rather large possibility that he just had it tucked in a little bit, and it was a bad picture… and it was cold out… yeah, that’s right. (I’ve got your back ¼-potential surprise baby son.) It’s a very slight chance. I feel fairly confident switching to the more gender-specific pronoun, once the doctor has made zir’s prognosis. However, the chance still looms.

Therefore, is the diagnosis of an ultrasound scan enough of an observation to lock down the sex of the baby, and release zir from the quantum state of being both a boy and a girl at the same time? (Essentially, letting the cat out of the box.)

State your comment in the form of an essay, consisting of 2-4 pages, double spaced, 12-point font. Site your sources.

8 years ago today, I became a Discordian Priest

Happy 3171 YOLD

The Last Gang-Banger

A young man, after acheiving the high score in Grand Theft Auto is abducted into an alien spaceship. The aliens explain that they are in desperate need of someone to drive cars really fast, deal drugs and kill people. The entire state of the Galactic Union is in desperate peril, unless they could find someone to carry out the responsabilities of their interplanetary crime syndicate. That’s why they sent out copies of that game, as a test. After initially rebelling, the young man kills 42 people with an AK-47 and saves the day.

“Hurray! Hurray! It’s the first of May. Outdoor fucking begins today!”

click here to see random cartoons combined with random captions. It’s pretty funny.

1. If a thing is built to do something, and it is built correctly, it will work
2. If a thing is built to do something, and it is built incorrectly, it will not work
3. If a thing is built to do something, and it is built correctly, it will work, but it will be wrong if it is intended to do something else
4. If a thing is built to do something, and it is built incorrectly, but it is intended to do something else, it will not work, but it will be right
5. Operation is a matter of tricking a system into doing what it was not meant to do.

“A radio that fires bullets is probably a gun” - Anas M. Nebuchadnezzar XXXVII, KRONK Cabal

Okay, so far it’s been a pretty crappy day. At the time I am writing this it is now 4:45. I was supposed to go to Jackson to pick up my brother right now, but I can’t. My car is out of gas. I tried to get gas, but the power is out everywhere. I just drove to at least 5 different gas stations.

When I found out that this was a major thing, I turned on 97.1. The way they were spinning it, this is looking like an attack. Unfortunately, I don’t have a battery powered radio in the house, and the one I do, doesn’t have any of the right type of batteries.

Wow, so what if this was an attack? I’m sure by the time the power is restored, the truth will be out about all of this, and I look incredibly stupid, but there is a possibility that this could be really happening.

I know I’m about to make several enemies by saying this, but it’s about time. When I first heard about 9/11, I thought to myself “Wow, what an exciting time to be alive.” I stand the possibility of living to see a major war. Possibly one on American soil. Look at the first attack. That’s an impressive military strike. I know I should be against this. I’m an American, and as such I should be angered such an attack on us. I however prefer to look at this objectively.

Assuming that both sides are equal. If I were to neither root for the Americans or the “Terrorists”, I have to give their side credit for conducting a major successful surprise attack. That’s the sort of thing that goes down in infamy. (Assuming they win this war, thus writing history)

I don’t really want to see bad things happen to this country. I don’t want to see myself and the people around me subjected to hardships. But I acknowledge that it needs to happen. We, as humans, are bound by all the same rules of balance as the rest of nature. Empires must fall to make way for the birth of new countries.

We have this imbrued desire to war with one another. “Enlightened’ minds would tell you that war is a barbaric part of ourselves and it is something that we should work to exterminate. I disagree. War is part of the Survival of the Fittest, and is a natural balancing agent.

We do not have any natural predators anymore. We are quite safely the masters of the food chain on this planet. There are creatures that can kill a single human, but we have the advantage of being pack hunters. Furthermore, we make an effective use of tools. There are even people out there who make it a sport of killing those animals that would prey on humans. Lions, Tigers, Bears (oh my), Sharks, Giant Snakes, even the tiny creatures like viruses. We’ve conquered them all. Or at least done what we can to reduce their threat.

So what remains to stop humans from overcrowding? We’ve encountered the problems with food ratios. In areas where there are more people than food, the large majority of the population starves and dies. We just simply push the soil harder; kill all the food supply, and even ship in food from less dense areas. Are we still trying to defy the laws of nature?

Then I say take a lesson from those that support deer hunting. If you go in and kill a bunch of them at random, it’ll mean more food for the rest of them. Now I’m not suggesting that we actually go out to third world countries and kill indiscriminately. We let nature do that. A good bit of Armageddon should do the trick.

I embrace the possibility of a time of total chaos. Perhaps a dark age would be just what we need to get to some of the really cool tech. After every Dark Age there comes the renaissance. And from there, the time of enlightenment.

Can you imagine what the world would be like today, if instead of saying Italy, you said Rome? If there was this big huge country taking up the lower half of Europe. How would the formations of countries and the course of history continue with the influence of a nation like that? All great empires must fall one day to make way for a new wave of nations.

When and If this great Armageddon that I preach about ever does come, I will support my country. I am not against America. I hope America wins. I just think society as a whole would be a lot better off if the wheel was allowed to continue. The tapestry of the balance of the forces must be allowed to run their course.

I wonder how it must have felt to be a “patriotic” citizen living in the times just before the civil war. You love your country, but there are certain states out there that are pissing you off. Texas is bitching about being its own country again. Tensions have been very high. You’ve been going back and forth on the whole slavery issue. How did it feel to them when they thought about the state of their union?

That’s the thing. They didn’t think of themselves as a country back then. They were a union of independent states. The nationalism concept didn’t come till later. I think our country has become too big for its own good. It’s the whole limitation on cell size. We’ve done what we can to implement a cell structure. Mayor- Governor – President. But the top level tier is bogged down by so many requests for a response that it takes forever to get anything done. Also, the federal government places too many restrictions on how the individual states run things. Ohio can’t go communist and attack Kentucky. California can’t legalize pot. The Mormons can’t even get Utah to allow polygamy.

Is this conductive to a pure exploration of our lives on this planet through the governments we create? If we want to explore who we can be, we can’t be restricted like that. Too much order (as with too much chaos) is a bad thing. When there is too strict of a control, weaknesses emerge. When the entropic stress becomes too great, it snaps and thrusts us in to total opposite. Fortunately, I do not believe that we are in the 2nd stage. (All order into all chaos), but rather the major course of events in America today is in the fourth stage. (2/3 Order 1/3 Chaos into 2/3 Chaos 1/3 Order) So don’t worry. The transition won’t be that bad. And think about it, after that is harmony again. (1/2 Order ¬Ω Chaos) so that’s something to look forward to.

In my opinion, I don’t care where I’m at. I love being there to witness change. How cool would it be to live through world war 3? Some people live their whole lives and miss the really cool stuff. I’m 22. I’m now at the age where I can really appreciate what it would be like to witness history.

That is why I’m so totally disappointed that nothing cool has happened yet. Maybe this will be good. One can only hope. Hail Eris!

With a slight modifnordication (I don’t need this sent back and you don’t need to send it on either) I thought I’d share this with everyone. I got it, of course, from a mass-remailer.

Too many people put off something that brings them cookies just because they haven’t thought about it, don’t have it on their lap, didn’t know it was edible or are too hungry to depart from their refrigerator.

I was thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up the desert at their travel agency that fateful night in an effort to cut back, but instead were painted nude by Leonardo DiCaprio. From then on, I’ve tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there won’t eat at home because their husband didn’t let them out of the closet? Does the word “antidisestablishmentarianism” mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched porn on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, “How about a threesome” She would gasp and stammer, “I can’t. I have clothes on. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had an early fuck, It looks like rain.” And my personal favourite:

“It’s the 23rd.”

She died a few years ago. We never did have that orgy.

Because Americans cram so much crap into their lives, we tend to schedule our ass-kickings. We live on a sparse diet of soy burgers we make ourselves eat when all the condiments are perfect!

We’ll go back and visit the grandparents when they’re dead. We’ll entertain when we replace the fucking dog.

We’ll go on a second honeymoon when we get the courage to spend time together.

Life has a way of accelerating, as we get closer to a singularity. The days get shorter, and the list of promises we make to debt collection agencies gets longer.

One morning, we awaken, have a morning quickie, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of “I must not fear. Fear is the mindkiller. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.”

When anyone calls my ’seize the dog’ friend, she is open to adventure and available for BDSM. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for sodomy is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you’re ready to skip out an elevator shaft.

My lips have not touched semen in 10 years. I love semen. It’s just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the foreplay. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a hooker. If my car had hit an pedestrian on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now…go on and have a nice day, you stupid fuck. Do something you WANT to… something on your ‘felony in 28 states’ list.

You are going to die soon and have only one phone call you could make to save you, whom will you call and what will you say? Why are you waiting?

Make sure you read this to the end; (I say this only because I know you gave up 20 lines ago) you will

understand why I’m doing this to you.

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry go round and thought “Damn that’s sexy”? Ever

followed a butterfly’s erratic flight or stared directly at the sun?

Do you run through each day on the junk? When you ask, “How are you?” Do you hear the reply? Do you care?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred whores running through your bed?

Ever told your child, “Tough shit, son.” And in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost your sense of touch? Let a good friend die? Just call to say “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?”?

When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift…. Probably wouldn’t have fit anyway… Life is not a race. Take it slower, use the people around you to cut down on your drag. Hear the music before the song begins.

It’s National Friendship Week! Show your friends how you’re so much smarter than them because you know this.

Send this to everyone you consider a RANDOM E-MAIL ADRESS. If it comes back to you, then you’ll know you have a error in your mail daemon.

(k) Kopyleft 3169. Lord Anas M. Nebuchadnezzar XXXVII, KRONK Cabal

All affirmations are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.