Chris Rush Cohen posted some hilarious “exerpts” from the oral arguments from the case of “Positive Black Talk Inc. v. Cash Money Records” (as “reported” by the ABA Journal over the rights to Juvenile’s song: Back That Azz Up.

Here is the transcript:

(more…)

I’m glad that you “already tried that” and that you think “it’s a waste of time”, but if we could just try it one more time, the correct way, we’ll see that it works perfectly.

There’s a reason I’m sitting here answering phones and you’re calling in. I know what I’m doing, and you obviously don’t.

After failing at their first attempt to do a shift bid, my new schedule will be:

11:00 pm - 8:00 pm

Sunday and Monday off

What is the point of giving a suicidal man that causes great distruction the death penalty?

Medical websites should be required to carry the warning; “Caution: May cause hypochondria”

I want to legally change my name to “Current Resident” and then live off of the 1/20th of a cent cash value of all the coupons that are delivered to my house.

Bugzilla: David Hyatt should give Ben Goodger $50

Jesus Dress Up

Microsoft gives driving directions for flying cars

Liquid Information . org

Google begins indexing the closed captioning information in TV shows

The Semantic Social Network

Adult ADD Checklist - I started to do it, but got bored part of the way through.

If anyone (in the michigan area) is looking for a good company for PC repairs and upgrades, check out http://www.athomepcrepair.net/

Shameless plug: part of the reason I think it’s such a good site, is because I designed it. (The code, not the content)

Thank god I only deal with customers over the phone and not in person. I can’t give in to the sudden overwhelming urge to beat the shit out of some of the dumbasses that I have to deal with on a day to day basis.

Describe the color Red. Do not use any references to colors. Do not mention any items/phenomena that happen to be colored red. (or any other color for that matter.) Also, do not mention any emotions that are anyway linked to items that are colored red.

My pimp name is: Diamond Anas Pappy

They didn’t do an ultrasound. We had to schedule for a fetal scan in 4 weeks. I guess we’ll be calling our baby “it” for just a little while longer.

It is now 4:28. I have to be up in time to take Amanda to her appointment at UofM Hospital. There is a very good chance that the doctor will be able to tell us if we are having a boy or a girl. She is approximately 18 weeks along. They are generally able to determine the sex by the 16th week, so unless Zie is a rather shy baby, there is a good chance I won’t have to resort to gender-neutral pronouns (Zie, Zir) when referring to my child.

I had an interesting thought earlier today. When the doctor tells us what (in zier professional opinion) sex the baby is, does that count as an observation? It’s like the thing about Schrödinger’s Cat. The cat was either alive or dead. The scientist doesn’t know if the cat is alive or not because there is a 50% chance that the radioactive particle triggered the device that smashed the cyanide capsule killing the cat. Most people would say, “Yeah! So there’s a fifty-fifty shot of a dead kitty. So what?” That wouldn’t be a big deal, except that it’s fun to fuck with people’s minds and tell them that since either result could occur, that until you open the box and look to see whether or not you have to clean out the box or buy more cat food, both occur at the same time.

I see the doctor’s appointment tomorrow kinda like that. I know that there’s a little baby inside her belly. I know that by this point zie has zir’s own tiny version of what romance novelists spend all night thinking up new euphemisms for. I know that what that doctor tells me will invariably shape the rest of my life. Will I forever be immersed in a sea of Barbie® dolls, or with GI-Joe? (To quote old stereotypes.) This difference will come about anyway, but as of right now, when I look at my fiance’s ever-growing belly, I’m not sure which name I’ll be screaming from the front porch to come in and eat zir dinner.

Which brings me back to my original point. Even when the doctor tells us zir professional opinion of what zie thinks our baby’s sex is, there still remains a slight element of uncertainty. If zie’s a boy, the chances of a suprise are lower. However, if zie’s a girl, there is a rather large possibility that he just had it tucked in a little bit, and it was a bad picture… and it was cold out… yeah, that’s right. (I’ve got your back ¼-potential surprise baby son.) It’s a very slight chance. I feel fairly confident switching to the more gender-specific pronoun, once the doctor has made zir’s prognosis. However, the chance still looms.

Therefore, is the diagnosis of an ultrasound scan enough of an observation to lock down the sex of the baby, and release zir from the quantum state of being both a boy and a girl at the same time? (Essentially, letting the cat out of the box.)

State your comment in the form of an essay, consisting of 2-4 pages, double spaced, 12-point font. Site your sources.

I feel like writing for a bit before I go to bed. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything substantial. My posts as of late have been more of the random thought nature, or various links that I’ve found. I’ve been trying to fill more of the role of the average blogger, and less the inane drivel of a Livejournal user.

This new installation of Wordpress has made me very happy. I like having the added ability to include pingbacks and trackbacks. I also like the fact that I now have a more complete control over my content. I could include Javascript into one of my posts. (If I desired to.) I don’t like the fact, that despite my farewell post, only four people added my RSS located at . I hope that in time, more of my friends will add me again, but if not, no big deal.

The following post at http://www.kronkltd.net/wp/index.php?p=561 was originally written as part of the same sitting. They have been split up to separate topics.

Tsunami pictures. (before/after)

Is your copy of IE vulnerable to (yet another) critical security hole?

Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientistsâ„¢

A Canadian’s proposal for a national digital library

Why, despite Bill Gate’s opinion, those supporting Open Source and Creative Commons are not Communists

Get your computer’s screen cleaned for free, over the internet. Click Here

My New Schedule

(effective Jan 30, 2005)

1:00 pm - 10:00 pm

Sat. and Sun. off

This is not my schedule, they had to re-do the shift bid. I’ll post my new schedule when I get it.

Someone is selling a snowball that he made from the front yard in his home in Texas… It’s selling for over $20K

Edit: After climbing to over $4M, (the last time I saw it.) the snowball sold for a meager $92. This just shows how bidding wars on ebay can really snowball. (sorry, bad pun.)

This was one of my favorite math puzzles that Mr. Penske gave to us once.

See if you can see how this works.