Often times I will find myself wanting to write a really long post, but it is so hard to get started. I have so much stuff going on in my life, and I’ll really want to have a chance to write, but I never get the chance, and the few chances I do get I end up sitting at my computer playing Forty Thieves solitaire.
I would have to say, that is probably one of the biggest downsides (the few that they are) to having an almost live-in girlfriend now is that I don’t have as much of the boring alone time as I used to. Not that that is even that bad of a thing. (Sex is usually better than solitaire) But I don’t get a chance as often to sit down and write a really long journal post.
Every time I try to think about what I want to write, I think of all the things that have happened to me since the last time I wrote something. Usually there is a whole lot to write about, especially if you look at it from the perspective that everything you encounter in your day to day lives would be something good to write about.
So where do I start? If you were to look back into the history of my writings on Live Journal, you will see a time where I would post a separate entry for each day of my life. Every night (or the next morning) I would sit down and reflect on my day. These were the things I did, the things I saw, the thoughts I have. This works out very well for me considering the way my memory will work. I can go back, read a post, and almost place myself back there with everything that is around me.
Censorship on Live Journal has always been a big issue. The question of public entry vs. private entry is a very good one. I do not have any private entries. (Save one) I put my heart and all I had into these big long rants, and I didn’t care who read it. Of course, at that time, no one did.
As anyone who gets involved in Live Journal will find, the longer they spend here, and the more they get into this community, their Friends list will slowly start to grow. At the time of this writing, I have 43 people that have friended me. That means that this very post will potentially be read by up to 43 people out there. That’s a lot of people. It was one thing when my friends list consisted of a small handful of friends that would occasionally read what I had to write, but it becomes a slightly different matter when there are so many more people.
I know some of the people on my list. In fact, I would say that I know a good deal of the people that read my posts. A lot of them I went to school with, or was friends with, or knew them in some point in my life. And then there are the people that I do not know at all. The people that usually I have friended first, because I like to read people other peoples’ posts, and out of reciprocal respect have friended me back.
So now every word that I write will at lest potentially be read by up to 43 people. (Not to mention my non-friend readers) That’s a lot of people who are now able to read what was originally designed as an incredibly private, and therapeutic journal.
Now of those 43 people that are theoretically reading this post; some of you, I know quite well; some of you, I used to know rather well, but not as much anymore; some of you, I hardly know at all; and the rest, I have never even met. How can I trust all of you? I have several options available to me. I could always open up another Live Journal account and post the juicier bits of my life there, but I like the idea of having all my LJ posts under one account. I could not post what I want to write, but I don’t get that exhibitionist thrill of not only pouring out my emotions and problems into Microsoft Word, but also sharing it with others.
Then there is a third option. I could always devise some sort of elaborate filter system. I could write posts that only a select few of my friends can read certain posts. I don’t like this idea for several reasons. Firstly, I don’t like the idea of having to have private or protected entries. If I’m going to write, and say what I have to say, then part of me wants that information to be available to any and all that really want to know bad enough. But this goes against everything I’m working for. I want to hide parts of my life from those that don’t want to know, but share them with the people that do want to know. And I don’t want to deny people the opportunity to cross over, to make that decision to find out more, if they really want to know. If you have an idea of what I’m talking about, and you are okay with it. Let me know so I can add you if I end up setting up a filter.
This post was originally going to be about my day yesterday. (just to write) Or at the very least a summary of things in my life, but it seems that it turned into something else. So I will leave things as they stand now.
ianiceboy
